Nothing's Real but Love
by Shaz1
Summary: Takes place directly after 'Past Lives'- Sam has a little chat with his partner whilst on the team outing to the Karaoke Bar. Please review!


**Nothing's Real But Love**

By Shaz1

None of the characters in this belong to me, except for the bartender but CBS are free to borrow him if they want!

This takes place immediately after season one episode 'Past Loves' and before 'Missing'.

Please take the thirty seconds to leave a quick review for me!

**Nothing's Real But Love**

Callen sat back, swirling his bottle of beer in his hands, he was taking it steady with the alcohol, despite the evening being a team bonding session. He was still too on edge from the recent case to relax fully and couldn't allow himself to fully let go despite the frivolity around him. He managed half a smile at Nate, the team 'shrink', banging out a Backstreet Boys number despite every one of them advising against it.

"Cheer up G" his partner commented as he pulled up the stool beside the younger man. The larger man had been worried about his partner throughout the latest case. G Callen rarely let emotions rule him and rarer still was for the seasoned agent to give his heart, yet as Jason Tedrow both things had happened, and Callen had yet again been hurt as a result.

"Sorry Sam" Callen replied offering his partner what was supposed to be a reassuring smile. He took a swig of his beer and turned his attention back to the stage area where Kensi was about to perform, he could feel his friend looking at him, measuring him to see whether he was still affected by the case or not and internally he prayed that his friend would leave the matter be. His prayers were unanswered.

"Did you love her G?" he asked softly, hoping against hope that he hadn't pushed his partner away with the question. Callen sighed deeply to himself, hesitating before answering.

"I loved the life I guess, going home every night to her, going for a beer with her brother. I guess it was like being part of a family, even if it was all just a lie" he replied, his voice steady and even- not allowing even a strip of emotion to betray him. Sam pondered on the response, he had seen the way that his friend had been with John Donnelly, he had seen his friend's face when the crime scene photographs had arrived, Callen had looked stricken. He had looked like he had lost a friend, and if Sam's judgement was right then that was exactly what had happened.

"It's ok to admit that you care G" Sam finally commented. Callen sighed again, chuckling to himself as Nate once more took the mike and bounded onto stage. Glad of the momentary distraction to give him a reprieve from his partner's questions. "I know that you cared for her, I could see it in your eyes" Sam stated softly.

"How can I say I loved her when she didn't even know my real name?" Callen asked, the edge of bitterness creeping into his voice. "The whole reason I knew her was a lie, I was responsible for her brother going to prison and then I left her. She didn't even know if I was still alive or not- does that sound like love to you?" He questioned quickly his voice soft so that the other team members didn't overhear.

"The things you did you did because that is your job G, it's your duty- the rules that you live by are different from other normal people" Sam reasoned. "Despite that you protected Kristen, you stopped her from getting dragged into it. When they were all sent to brig there was no need for you to remain with her G, I am sure there was another mission for you lined up" he half questioned, and G nodded in response.

"I was shipped straight to Russia for a joint Op" Callen confirmed. "I just sometimes wish I had met her as me" he stated softly as he downed the remainder of his beer.

"Then you wouldn't have been half as open to her" Sam responded with a small smile. He knew that his partner rarely disclosed much about himself to any potential ladies in his life, and that included those that made it to the record five week mark in their relationship. Callen shook his head at his partner's comment, he couldn't dispute it and they both knew it. "What about the kid?" Sam asked, almost dreading the answer.

"Not mine" the lead agent replied, nodding his thanks to the bar tender that replaced his empty beer.

"You sure?" Sam asked.

"She said not, said that she deliberately made me question it so that I would suffer as she had. I guess that's the least I deserve" Callen confirmed.

"Are you relieved?"

"Relived that I haven't missed the first years of my kids life, disappointed that I don't have a kid I guess" Callen responded, his reply surprisingly honest. Sam quirked an eyebrow at him in surprise. "It's for the best" Callen finished. "Would have been a shitty dad any way" he finished, before getting to his feet and heading to the restroom, leaving an increasingly angry Sam in his wake. Sam gestured at the bar tender and ordered a couple of shorts, intent on not letting his partner clam up on him. He was half surprised when the younger man returned. Sam handed him the whiskey and Callen looked at him questioningly.

"You need to chill out man" Sam responded, Callen shook his head and went to put the glass down. "Listen G I have us a cab booked and my sofa has your name on it. Just relax- I have got your back" Sam reassured him and with a dramatic sigh the younger man took a sip of the whiskey and sat back in his place. "Just because that boy isn't yours doesn't mean that one day you won't have a son of your own" Sam stated. Callen sighed.

"Listen Sam, I appreciate what you are trying to do, but I am ok really" Callen cut his friend off, really not willing to go any deeper. He did not share and his partner knew that.

"Fine, but if you change your mind you know where I am" Sam responded. Callen nodded, before getting to his feet intent on joining the rest of the team, yet before he made it two steps his partner's voice caused him to pause. "G, just because your name and the circumstances weren't true doesn't mean that the love wasn't- and it doesn't mean that it meant any less to her or to you" Sam stated, Callen paused for a moment- absorbing his partner's words.

"Thanks Sam" he finally replied, downing his whiskey and walking away clutching his beer in his hand. Sam smiled, finally having got through to his partner even if just for a moment. Without any further hesitation he headed over to join the group just in time to see the song that his friend had selected to sing.

"G! You can't sing that, it's a duet!" he commented, shaking his head as his partner ignored him as usual before heading up to the stage, a group of girls at the front of the stage suddenly paying an interest. He shook his head, but couldn't help the smile that graced his features as he listened to his friend finally relaxing and letting go.

The End

Please review!


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